Saddened by the fact I was never enough, I fell into a deep depression. Anytime I was alone I cried. I longed for the feeling of “Home.” This is something we often forget is so important. That comfort, that feeling of safety and security. I was now forced to live with circumstances that compromised my integrity and honestly I felt like a fool. Anytime I spoke up and voiced my displeasure of anything, it started a war. Awful arguments that lasted for days, sometimes weeks with me sleeping in my car, just for voicing anything that I found to be disrespectful or wrong. I know it was not the way I wanted to live. At the time though, I honestly felt like I had no choice in the matter. I didn’t understand why Jacob couldn’t just love me and only me. What was so wrong with me that I wasn’t enough?
No where Felt Like Home
Saddened by the fact I was never enough, I fell into a deep depression. Anytime I was alone I cried. I longed for the feeling of “Home.” This is something we often forget is so important. That comfort, that feeling of safety and security. I was now forced to live with circumstances that compromised my integrity and honestly I felt like a fool. Anytime I spoke up and voiced my displeasure of anything, it started a war. Awful arguments that lasted for days, sometimes weeks with me sleeping in my car, just for voicing anything that I found to be disrespectful or wrong. I know it was not the way I wanted to live. At the time though, I honestly felt like I had no choice in the matter. I didn’t understand why Jacob couldn’t just love me and only me. What was so wrong with me that I wasn’t enough?
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