The Monster That Sleeps Beside Me

I long for that feeling that I once felt as I lay my head on his chest at night. To me, this was the greatest feeling in the world. I use to look forward to going to bed all day long just to feel the wonderful feeling I would feel, like our souls entwined and we belonged. It was special. It was scared. It never lasted long. His mood swings were getting worse and more frequent. Everything was my fault and I tried so hard to keep him happy. Nothing worked. He didn’t want me. He would scream at me to leave in the middle of the night. With tears rolling down my face I would grab items needed as quickly as possible. Sometimes he would grab them back from me. He made it as difficult as possible to leave. Sometimes locking doors behind me so I could not reenter for anything. I soon realized my dogs had to be priority, so most of the time other items never made it out. What was left behind got thrown away or broken. He managed to keep the house looking as though I had never lived there. No pictures no nothing. It was as if I never existed.